To fail, to win?
Are you afraid to fail? If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll most likely say yes (even if you don’t say it out loud). It’s perfectly normal to be afraid to fail because from very early on a deep fear to fail is instilled in us. The focus from a very young age is to “win,” to create winners. The focus of most games played is to win. Kids usually don’t just play competitive games to enjoy playing, but to win. Clearly the pressure to win is put on us at a very young age and we too play an active role in this. The pressure’s all around us, but we also continue to put this pressure on ourselves, pressure to win, do well, succeed, etc., but what happens when you fail? No one prepares you for failing because that’s not really well accepted in society. Furthermore, people don’t want to feel like they’re rewarding people for “losing.” But what if we took a close look at losing and failing since it’s an intricate part of life and something so normal as human beings?
Do you remember hearing “You can’t always win” when you were young?
I can remember being a little kid and being upset for not winning a game. And I can perfectly remember the statement that was supposed to comfort me as a little kid, “You can’t always win.” It never seemed to work magically. I never felt like a winner after I had lost only because I knew “I couldn’t always win” and someone had to lose. Just like that was said to me, I now say the same to all of you, as I consider it to be true, “You can’t always win.” Do you notice the “can’t?” in that line? That’s because it is impossible to always win, at everything. At some point we will all taste the bitter taste of losing in some way, but that bitter taste can turn and bring sweet memories to come. Failing can give you the drive and strength to succeed.
I don’t expect you to suddenly feel like a winner simply because failing is part of life. Most of all, I don’t want you to torture yourself because whether we like it or not, failing and losing are inevitable. The part that does make me feel as a winner are the numerous pieces of knowledge I’ve gathered overtime specifically during the times I’ve felt like I failed. It is through these journeys I’ve had to go through when I definitely didn’t consider myself “a winner” that have taught me invaluable things that have made me a stronger person. If I could comfort you for not “winning,” I would add to “you can’t always win” a more meaningful phrase and that is, “life is far more than winning.” As you read this, come in contact with it and believe it.
It seems that as one has failed and lost, even lost it all, we take more chances because we’re no longer paranoid in a winning bubble, a winning bubble we’re terrified of popping ourselves. We know that just as one can win, you can easily loose, but you’ve got to take risks and more chances in order to win and succeed. If you don’t win or earn whatever it is that you’re looking for, when you try to achieve time after time AND you take risks, at least, you’ll always know you tried. Being filled with “what ifs” is not fun, and in fact, it’s detrimental because it keeps you in the past. “What ifs” and living in the past or with regrets don’t allow you to be in the present or to successfully navigate towards the future.
Take chances, regardless of the outcome and don’t forget that things aren’t always black and white, just as often times it isn’t just about winning or losing. Don’t beat yourself up for failing or losing, but at the same time, don’t let “winning” consume you! Life involves both, losing and winning; you will experience both in your lifetime, and in the end, life is much greater than either one of them! The more you do, the more you learn. Don’t be afraid to fail and if you’ve failed, don’t beat yourself up! You’re not the first or last, nor the only one! You’re not alone .
*A true winner is not someone who doesn’t lose, but one who loses and holds his or her head up high and can go on in life taking chances in order to succeed!
Feedback and comments in general are highly welcomed .
-Don’t forget to check out my pointers on failing and winning (see below), keep them in mind and share!